joy | Sera Fiana

Rejoice is a word that has been appearing in my life, in my reading…and as a consequence in my heart a lot this week.

After hearing it multiple times, I looked up the definition and found that it means:

V: feel or show great joy and delight

This is kind of how it feels:

Of course, the analyst that I am (thanks, Dad), I started to question why, all of a sudden I am feeling such an overwhelming amount of joy. My conclusion: well, first, a lot of great things are happening in my life (many things I will continue to tell in the coming weeks) including an appointment with a great doctor last week that lead me to a diagnoses of hypothyroidism, which makes so much sense for many of the symptoms I have been living with = HOPE, things at work are going wonderful and stable = PEACE, my Mom is doing so well and is a healing warrior = HEALING, I have an amazing partner to navigate life with = LOVE, the sun is finally out and well, God is showering grace over me (like always) =LOVE, GRACE, HOPE, HEALING, PEACE, FAITH.

AND…

While all these things are very true, there is another thing that I am rejoicing in. FREEDOM

A few weeks ago, you may not have found my blog on vulnerability as deep as I did, but let me tell you what happened. In that post, I freed myself of shame I have been holding onto a long time….like all my life long. I told you my “numbers,” weight/size, and it freed me. Maybe not in that moment, but since then, wow, what a process. Somehow, admitting that shame freed me from it. Why? Because, really, I’m not so sure you even care that much (not a ton of feedback after I wrote it) and YOU ALL STILL LOVE me after it. I know cause I can feel it and you show me.

So this belief that I cannot be loved if I’m not a certain size or weight is being healed. 9 year old Sera is rejoicing too – and she so deserves to feel love and peace and healing. I cannot put into words how freeing and life changing it is.

All I’ve read about shame and vulnerability tells me this is the result, but I couldn’t really understand until I felt it and realized why my JOY was so deep until I reflected this week.

My mind is free to think of other things instead of my weight, my heart was freed to love myself right now, right here at this size, in this moment and my world just opened up. Do you understand? Do you relate?

Who else has felt this?

Who else is living in joy?

OR who needs to release some shame and be a little vulnerable?

Wanna join in my REJOICING? Post below. Let me know.

In love and healing,

Sera