Tag Archives: prayer

Awake.

It’s taken a 2 a.m. wake up call to get me present this week, acknowledge what is real and happening in my world right now and be ready to share.

Laying in bed, wide awake, on a business trip to Philadelphia, cursing not sleeping, brought me the beauty of recognition that I have some things on my mind and heart that I need to acknowledge.  In my desperation to, in this case, just sleep away the reality, my intuition told me that the short-term reprieve that “sleeping it away” might give me will never measure up to the life-long healing sharing and being present will offer…and so I share.

What is keeping me up?:

My Mom, my beautiful Mother, starts chemo today.

I’m scared.

I’m sad.

I’m hopeful.

I’m present.

I’m praying for my Mothers strength and courage and healing.  I’m praying for my family’s presence and love and light.  I’m praying for faithfulness of believing and trusting in His will.  I’m praying for my own courage to stay present through all of this – to not run or sleep or eat or numb, even if its painful and scary.  I am praying for strength and guidance from God.  I am praying for miracles of love.

I pray that through this my Mother can see how much she is loved and admired and beautiful and deserving of receiving.  I pray for peace.  I pray for forgiveness.

I am hopeful and grateful to have an outstanding woman and Mother to pray for and love and honor.

In the midst of these prayers and this presence, I also give light to my 5 year anniversary of surgery to remove my desmoid, tomorrow, which is also the day that I will be getting my first scans post reconstruction. 

What a gift of healing. 

5 years ago I had no idea where this journey was heading.  I had no idea what was happening and I certainly didn’t know that 5 years later, on the eve of my celebration of 5 years clean from this tumor, I would be praying for my Mother’s strength during chemo for breast cancer.  (I’m not even sure the latter part of that sentence is real to me yet.)  What a gift, my journey of healing can be to her, can be to this new process my family embarks on.  I pray I can offer her the wisdom I gained through this journey and the space to create and experience whatever she needs on her own journey.

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God has a plan for us all.  His will is a gift I get to fulfill.

I find strength in God and I find strength in sharing.  My greatest strength this year is being transparent with you…..and me – that I cannot do this alone nor do I want to.  Strength, for me, I am learning, is being vulnerable even when its the scariest choice I (think) I have.  For me, holding in the vulnerable reality of fear and pain and of simply being seen, is even scarier now because I know the behavior isolating and hiding ignites in me – and its not good.  

I ask for prayers, love and light through this week – for my Mother and I as she starts chemo and I go for my scans – for love, strength, healing and miracles – in whatever form God might offer them to us. I pray for you too – for your peace and happiness and love and healing.

In love and healing,

Sera

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How I’m healing…

Let’s face it, we gather here, or starting gathering here a few months ago to prepare for, live through and now update on this beautiful journey of me going through my surgery, therefore, its only fair that I come back to the basics periodically and check in on how I am healing.  I’m grateful to say that today I am still healing very, very well.  Like the last few months, this week has been good.  Here’s some of the things that helped me heal this week.  As I head back to work, I think I’ll keep these healing tips in mind.  (Hopefully you can use them too!):

1. Rested and relaxed  My body was feeling quite tired this week and I listened to the call.  I’ve certainly been grateful for the increasing energy levels I have been feeling and felt briefly frustrated at the slow down.  I was reminded that I am healing, my body is simply telling me what it needs and, so I rest.  A few books, movies and emails later I am glad to say my energy is good today.

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Okay, so sometimes I rested by this pool at my apartment. Its true!

2. Spent time with great people  Why does it still always amaze me how wonderful I feel after a good visit with a friend or family member?  I love these doses of love and I had several special ones this week – My dear friend and courageous desmoid sister, Amanda, and a surprise visit from my Dad.  I am grateful and was filled with extra love and healing!

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First time seeing Amanda after surgery! She has been so key in my healing! I was grateful for the energy to get to DC this night and for our conversations of courage!

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Dad and I on an evening stroll! Look what we found!

3. Praying & Dreaming  This has been such a big part of my healing and it didn’t stop this week.  Praying for healing, dreaming and reminding myself of the great things I want in my life and being present to those things I do have has healed my belly, my heart and my mind – continuously.

Back to “work” this week.  Grateful I love what I do and work for a wonderful Company.  This is another big step in this journey and I am grateful you’re here to support me!

Please don’t forget to sign up or donate to Running for Answers.  Its coming so quickly and I’m not sure where my team is!?!

In love and healing,

Sera

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P.S. Still healing with lovely Farmers Market finds! My prizes this week.