Gratitude and Hope and Gratitude.

I  feel grateful, inspired and at peace today as I sit to write.

Grateful that I started writing several months ago to share my story of healing with you, inspired by the runners that I watched push on at the Marine Corps Marathon today in DC and at peace with where my life is right now, in this moment.

Pride pulsed through me today as I watched the runners push past mile 16 and 17, then 19 and 20.  I felt pride for them, in the training they had done to get to that point, pride in their stamina to push through the next few tough miles and, selfishly, pride for myself that I’ve been okay with not running since April.

lins.sera.Marathon

Linsey and I at the Marathon!

Running has brought me joy, pain, grief, exciemtment and answers to some of the most difficult decisions in my life.  It was a constant, a steady, a joy in my life.  Running was my meditation and my prayer time, my reflection and relaxation time – and I have been without it for almost 7 months and it is so healing to say – I am still okay.  I am here and healthy and happy and maybe even stronger without running (for right now).

I am recognizing  that sometimes things are taken away or paused in my life that help me transition my focus and attention (even if I really don’t want to) to other things.  Would I be as focused on my healing, on my relationship with God, on building a great relationship with Steve, on finding other great hobbies in my life (like writing), if I still had running to lean on?  Maybe, maybe not.  I do know in this situation that not having running has changed and shifted many behaviors, habits and focus.  Was I okay with that 7 months ago?  Nope.  Not at all.  Quite frankly, I was angry, resentful and mad that I could not run.  I wanted to run and kept trying even when it hurt me more than brought any joy.  Now, however, I’m grateful for the new friends, relationships, hobbies, ideas and time not running has brought into my life.

lins.sera.marathon.2

I heart runners!

The Lord gives and takes away.

I know I’ll run again and I’m confident I’ll run a race again in the future.  I’m sure when I’m on the starting line of that race I’ll be even more grateful for running and my body then I ever was at the start of the last 40ish races I’ve done in the past.  Maybe that’s one of the lessons I was to learn in all of this – to seek gratitude in all things.

It feels uncomfortable for me when things are taken away, but I can be grateful for the growth opportunities it inspires.

Today I am grateful for:

1. My family that loves me so much.

2. DC – this city that I love and enjoy living in.

3. National Community Church and the friends I’ve made there

4. My laptop that keeps me connected

5. Hope

In love and healing,

Sera

sera.kim.WH

DC FUN! White house fall garden tour with Kim!

sera.WH

I love DC!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: