Accepting the Joy

Checking in today to stay present and engaged with this blog.  I have not felt like I have any “new” and exciting updates to share and realize as I write that I feel that way because life is continuing to really go well and unfold beautifully.  A part of me is afraid to share that and be open about it in the fear that it may  disappear.  I’m glad I recognize that and let it out.  Why is it that I fear living in happiness, fear of holding onto the things that bring me joy?  I know from work I have done on my spiritual journey this fear steams from my perceptions of past situations that when things were going well and, I felt I fully engaged in them, bam, I was hit with devastation and pain.  I know in writing this now that this is not true.  It was my observation of the situation through eyes and a heart of fear and pain and the reality is, I was not fully engaged in the happiness and joy and/or the scenario because of this fear.  By not allowing myself to be fully engaged, to try to protect myself, I did not recognize unhealthy or unsafe conditions in some of these situations, and therefore felt “surprised” by pain when it unfolded.  It was a lack of boundaries and engagement in the truth that allowed the surprise to manifest.  Can you relate or understand my observation?

With that said, I will fully engage, with you, and share, with you, all the beauty and happiness in my life right now.

First, this morning, I am living in the joy of a wonderful meet up with great friends to start the day, a healthy, filling breakfast and then a walk along one of the beautiful trails that I have the fortune to live around.


Some of the beautiful nature views I’ve been enjoying the past few days.

I came home yesterday from a wonderful few days with Steve.  I am filled with gratitude that I can share my time and experiences with my best friend and such a wonderful person.  Spending time with him always seems to slow me down, help me get more present and really appreciate the love I have in my life.


Steve and I enjoying the start of football season this weekend.

Last week, I had my first appointment with my physical therapist (PT) which those of you who have been on this journey with me know was very important to me.  I had been praying, searching, seeking a good pelvic PT that has experience in strengthening the abdominal area and surrounding muscles post surgery.  I found someone about 30 minutes from my home that accepts my insurance (huge win) and is aligned with what I was looking for.  She is a pelvic floor specialist, very passionate and interested in helping women, like myself, that have had unique and specialized surgeries, and committed to helping me with my recovery.  I am blessed.

My stomach looks great, is healing beautifully and is strengthening everyday.  I have been applying highly concentrated doses of Vitamin E to the incision site daily and the healing of my skin looks beautiful!  I am digesting food much better and so grateful everyday for the minimal pain I have.  God is still working miracles through me.

Today I get to connect and spend the day with a fellow desmoid survivor that is so brave, kind and such a good friend too me.  Again – grateful, blessed, and feeling surrounded by love.  I hope you are too.

In love and healing,



1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: