Blessed.

I am feeling incredibly blessed after this week. Things are falling into place so amazingly – truth is, they have been for the past few weeks (months, years), but I just wasn’t taking time to really recognize it. After all, isn’t finding Dr. Hoxworth a blessing? And getting to go to Sweden just a few weeks prior to surgery with my Mom for a vacation a blessing? And just being surrounded by amazing friends and family that always lift me a constant blessing? I do believe it is.

Maybe this week I am just really giving myself the opportunity to count the amazing blessings I have. Blessings this week include:
-Coming back from Sweden and not having jet-lag too much nor a hectic schedule to keep me from easing back into work….it was balanced and appreciated (check also here the blessing of work I love and that inspires me);
-meeting with my Natropathic physician and setting a specific pre and post surgery protocol to promote a healthy body for surgery and the best foundation for healing (check – knowing an amazing ND/Acupuncturist in DC already – blessing that she was brought into my life);
-a great guided imagery session with my Coach to help prepare me for surgery and help confirm for me that I know (that I know) that I am doing the right next steps in line with my intuition (check also blessing to have this healer in my life);
-getting supplements I needed mailed to me – for free (check having great connections that care about me = blessing);
-getting a special guided imagery cd in the mail from a special desmoid sister of mine that will help me through surgery (check blessing of a courageous survivor that shared her story with me to help me get the help I need…and she continues to share again and again);
….and that’s just the most obvious things I can share right now as blessing. I am blessed and grateful for the people in my life and the foundation I have built in my life to know just what I need to prepare to go into surgery. I have such wonderful connections and people I can ask for help and they are smart and caring and want to help me so much – I am honored…..and I truthfully believe I’ve always been blessed with a community so kind, caring, loving and magical….just not sure I always wanted to see it.

5 years ago my life was a lot different – more stress, less trust – more fear, less faith – and I’m proud to say I grew from there. I pushed, I did things that were uncomfortable like leaving a job I thought was secure and then leaving another job that I thought was my dream job because my gut told me it was not the right place for me at the time and I trusted that, I loved and got hurt (again – hurray for me:), I also trusted and saw wonderful benefits, I got really real with myself, embraced and fought with my character defects many times, and I still do all of this, I joined a Program that has helped heal my relationship with food so much by being painfully vulnerable about my addiction/emotional binges with food….and I am so grateful for where it all brought me. I am at a new, different level of faith and belief that I have not know before and I see wonderful people, things and healing opportunities are coming into my life because of that. I have recognized over the past few years that I have the ability to help guide and co-author my life. I cannot control everything or how it happens, but I can believe in my thoughts or not believe in my thoughts depending on the level of toxicity I see in them or the level of beauty I create in them.

Before going into the last surgery in 2008 I focused on how I needed to be physically well to go through it – run a half marathon before going in to know I was at my “top shape” and that was right for me at the time and powerful for me and my strength then. Now I feel slightly different. Yes, I want to be physically strong and I am as much as I can be now. My physical condition is limited by pain and boundaries my body is putting on me – I also now recognize that this time I am different. In addition to be physically fit, I will be mentally and emotionally at a different place of designing, co-authoring, being faithful and believing in how my attitude effects this outcome. Is that scary to own that responsibility, a little, but it’s also incredibly peaceful. Peaceful to know that with mental discipline and belief, I can co-create a different experience, expectation and belief about what this surgery and recovery can and will be for me. My co-creating come from believing in myself and my Higher Power to focus on the positive outcomes I would like to expect and see and I know I can do that. After a week of such blessings, I can clearly see that when I continue to open up more to my faith and to this beautiful community that surrounds me vs. fear, so many more blessings will come.
SFS

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