Isn’t she Lucky?

The view I found on my run last night....

I’m checking in from San Francisco and I cannot tell you how happy I 
am to be right where I am – right now – in so many ways.  I have been 
in CA for a week now and have had such a fantastic mix of great 
meetings for work, great meals (mostly of sushi and Mexican – I always have 
to do both while I am here:), wonderful sight-seeing through the wharf, 
the marina, nob hill, the golden gate national park and, of course, union square – but most of all,  as usual, my most amazing time came when I was running…. along the bay this time.  I had two wonderful jogs along the bay while I  have been here and the air, views and paths have been nothing short of  absolutely beautiful.

This week is a very special week for me.  It was one year ago, tomorrow, that I had my first of two surgeries to remove Zelda.  One year ago that the story of my life changed in so many ways –  so many wonderful ways.

As I pranced along the bay last night on my evening run I couldn’t
help but reflect on how much my life has changed in one year – in just 
365 days how much I have grown up and really grown into my skin. 

Last year, when I walked down Pine Street with my parents to Penn hospital I remember feeling like I was walking a death march – dramatic as it may seem, it’s true.  The drama queen, herself, was walking to what she thought was the most horrible event that could ever happen in her life.   When I got to the hospital, moved to admissions and prepared for surgery,  I felt an overwhelming fear that I was letting myself down more than I ever had in my entire life.  I thought that by going into surgery I was making the biggest mistake of my life.  I did not believe I had a tumor – how could I?  I was 26, and healthy, I had just finished a half marathon a week before???  I remember looking in the mirror at  my stomach just before slipping on the hospital gown and thinking – I’m so sorry I hated you for so long.  So sorry I thought you were fat and thought you were ugly and hated everything about this body of mine.  I didn’t want to tie that damn hospital gown and I didn’t want to get on that awful stretcher they brought for me, but you know what, I can say a year later that I am so glad I did.  Going through this journey has changed my life in ways I could not have even imagined the day I so unwillingly got on that stretcher. 

I cannot possibly go through all the amazing things that have happened in the past year, some of which I have shared with you in previous posts, but what I can say, simply, is that in the last year, I’ve learned how to live.  I’ve learned that the only thing that you are guaranteed in life is this moment, right now, so don’t live in the clouds of yesterday or the fear of tomorrow – enjoy here and now.   I’ve learned that life is so much more than things and money and status and keeping up with everyone around you.  I learned that life is so much more than how much you weigh or what you have in  your bank account or who you know.  It’s more about who you are inside and how you give of yourself to help others – as “profound” as this may not sound – it has been very profound lessons in the life of what used to be a pretty superficial girl.

I’ve learned that I love to run, I really love to run and each time I lace up my sneakers I am so grateful to have my health to run and explore and relax.  I’ve learned that I have the most, most amazing family and group of friends that any girl could ask for – and incredible people continue to come into my life daily. 

Reflecting as I ran along the bay yesterday, one word came to mind about my life now – Lucky – (and then for some random reason, the Britney Spear’s jingle, “isn’t she lucky….she’s a star” -came into my head – silly, but true:) – and I thought, you know what, I am lucky, so incredibly lucky to be where I am, have the people in my life around me that I am fortune to call my friends and family and lucky to have experience the most profound year of my life this year. 

To celebrate this “lucky year”, I have chose to spend my 1 year anniversary running.  It’s all I wanted to do last year at this time.  I wanted to run from everything that was happening, but I’m glad I didn’t.  So, I’ll leave CA bright and early tomorrow for Las Vegas to run the Rock-n-Roll half marathon and I couldn’t be more excited to run….and what a great place for to celebrate my LUCKY year.  I think a trip to the slots is in order for this lucky girl.

Here’s to an unbelievalbe year – although Zelda is gone – she was with me everyday, every second and I’m so glad she was a part of my life – without this tumor I wouldn’t be where I am today – and damn, do I feel lucky.

With Gratitude,


Running to the top of this hill was a work out....but so worth it!

Golden Gate Bridge


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